I recently have been indirectly accused of being a hyprcrite. It hurts. A hypocrite is something I try everyday NOT to be. I LOATH the idea that I might be a hypocrite.
My consolation is that this person does not know me well and only said that I reminded her of someone who is a hypocrite. Thus the reason for the indirect accusation. Yet it still hurts and haunts me.
I have wondered is this not true? I claim to be Christian. I try everyday to follow Him. I have covenanted to obey the commandments and yet I fail every single day. I have moments when I think a person who claims to believe what I believe would not have done that, or said that, or worse yet thought that.
This is not the first time in my life I have struggled with the idea that I am a hypocrite (it IS the first time I have been accused of it from another though). Nephi in the Book of Mormon in 2 Nephi 4:17-20 says it so eloquantly how I feel and struggle...
17 Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.
18 I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.
19 And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.
20 My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.
(This whole chapter is amazing and one of my favorite scriptures.)
I think the fact that I KNOW what I know and yet I still sin, may make me a hypocrite. However, the fact that I keep on trying. I keep asking for forgiveness. I keep striving to be more than what I am through God's grace. I keep turning to Him. I keep trusting him. I keep...
I hope this is enough to keep me from being a hypocrite. Or am I fooling myself?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
11 comments:
I,too, am trying to do my best to be a good person but that somebody would insuate that about you REALLY CHEESES ME OFF!!!! =)
I think you are fantastic, you are wonderful, you are real!!!
Though I know the battle - I have seriously been thinking about a couple of thing in my life that make me a hypocrite lately - eekkk!!!
Love you!!
The fact that the insinuation haunts you speaks volumes of your character. Love this post - love those scriptures. There is nothing so comforting and full of promise than this Gospel - I love it. I can't imagine feeling those feelings (which I do - often) and not having the scriptures as a source of strength and hope.
Love it!
I needed to read your post, by the way. =)
Frumper- You are too sweet. This person is not as heartless as it sounds. It was hard for this person to say it. Nonetheless it was painful and humbling for me and has caused for lots of reflection on my part.
I guess this is a good question to continually ask oneself. I am not worried about you whatsoever!
Redhoodoos- I appreciate that, it is comforting. I agree, I could not survive this life without the gospel, scriptures, and the Savior.
Julie, you know I love you. You are the coolest. I see you with grandma's rose colored glasses, you know the ones she left behind.
You are perfect in my eyes and I just want to be more like you when I grow up...or I should say, if I grow up. m
PS if you want me to take care of this person for you...it is done. Just give me the word and I will take care of her.
I was kidding. You know that right? I learn how to fight so I will never have to.
Mechelle- Of course I knew you were kidding. You did not even have to write that, silly!
PS Thanks, I return your sentiments only about you, not me, though!
I too love this post!
I also think of these scriptures when I start feeling down about how well/badly I am doing living the Gospel. And I think, man, if Nephi being so awesome in his faith and testimony and experiences with God and angels and he still struggled with trying to be perfect, then maybe I'm crazy for getting so down on myself. I have to pick myself up again and try to go on and keep working at it like Nephi did, and Alma, and all those great examples we have from before us.
I don't know you that well, but I too think you are awesome!
Yes! It amazes me that Nephi ever felt that way. I think that is part of the reason it is so endearing. Thank you for your kind words.
Post a Comment