Homeless

Why I am still homeless and why I get sick of hearing, "It's a buyers market, it is a perfect time to buy." I will be unorthodox and answer the second question first. One thing I will say is that buying a home in a buyer's market is a step above buying in a sellers.

I am sure EVERYONE will say or think a) I am crazy, b) I don't know what I am talking about, or c) both. I have bought a home in a seller's market and now I have been 'TRYING' to buy a home in a buyer's market.

With the only exception that the number of homes to choose from is substantially lower, I would rather buy in a seller's market. The reason being, you are relatively sure your home will keep it's value or increase. We bought a home at the end of the seller's market and the value of our home continued to go up. Insomuch that when we sold our home a year and a half later we still made a small amount of money even after the Realtor fees.

Not so in a buyer's market, especially in the beginning of a buyers market. Home values will most likely go down. Who wants to owe more than their home is worth? It is also a strange phenomenon that in a seller's market prices rocket up quick, quick, quick (yes an argument for the negative) but sellers are not so keen on the idea of prices going down in a buyer's market. It is absolutely maddening as a buyer to see homes overpriced, wanting to buy but not wanting to pay more than a home is worth.

Our saga began last May when I flew down to Utah to house hunt. All the homes were so high in price. I was not going to spend 2-300K on what seemed to me like a 'starter home.' It was an odd time in the market, a seller's market had just ended and it was just not quite a buyer's market yet. Prices were high and homes just were not selling. It was too early to declare a buyer's market.

My cousin, Robyn, told me of a family in her ward that were sadly getting divorced and would have to sell their beautiful 1920 restored home. I was very interested, since I have always LOVED old homes.

We made an appointment to see the home and fell in love. We wanted it. We were warned by the female homeowner, who I will call Jill, that this was going to be a long and ugly process. We were willing to wait.

In the meantime we were able to rent a two bedroom one bath apartment from my dear aunt and uncle knowing it would only be a few months until we would be able to move. Two storage units rented and with a tight squeeze we were settled.

Jill was right, it turned out to be even longer and uglier than anyone anticipated. Month after month with no divorce finalized, being told it was only weeks away. We kept looking at other homes but nothing was acceptable. All of them priced too high way too high.

First we heard that the home might be available in July. When July came it was August, that turned into September, that became October and so forth. Two weeks before Christmas we finally had the chance to buy the home.

David and I were so excited! We were going to do a cross between "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas" and "Miracle On 57th (?) Street." With the idea, that once the kids went to sleep Christmas Eve, we would 'steal' EVERYTHING (Grinch) and take it to our new home. The only clue was a note. After a treasure hunt and the final note with a key, we would drive by this home with big bows all over it. The kids would run up try the door and find all of Santa's gifts.

We were so excited that we did not realize until the night we were to do a walk through and give Jill our offer that this was not meant to be. In fact we met Jill and her lovely sister, Candy, at the home for the walk through. They forgot the key.

We decided to give her the ernest money (I am still unsure why we thought we had to give her the ernest money right then and there), bring the offer over to her house at which time we would pick up the key and go over for the walk through.

In hind sight we should have said, lets go get the key first. David and I will return to the house for the walk through. Then we would bring the ernest money and offer over. It would have made complete sense but I think we were so in 'love' with our Christmas plans and so beyond ready for a home that we were not thinking clearly.

We gave Jill the ernest money. Then went to her new home with the offer and picked up her key. Off for the walk through and David and I were sick by what we felt in that walk through. It was not right, this was not the home we were to buy. We both felt and knew it, with zero doubt.

Now what? We knew the law was on our side but she had possession of our offer and check. This was NOT going to be fun. Who would want to tell a person that was already down in an all time low, that there was more bad news? Not David, not me; this was truly a gut wrenching experience for both of us.

This news was especially bad for Jill because what I have neglected to mention is that her court appointed home appraisal came back extremely high. The appraisal was based on homes that were miles a way in towns that homes are more expensive because of location. Plus these homes were sold at the absolute peak of the market.

David and I came without a Realtor so we were to shaved 20K off the price, not a good deal for us. Once we had the final walk through we realized how bad of a deal it was. With our offer Jill would be able to break even on the divorce without it who knows how much she will lose. It was devastating.

David and I agreed I would be the one to break the news to Jill. I am still not sure why it fell upon me but I was too heartbroken to argue. The next morning was Sunday and in spite of the Sabbath we knew it had to be sooner than later. We felt it was the only right and fare thing to do.

8:55 am and Bryce and I were walking out the door to get Bryce to church for his first day ever of passing the sacrament. I heard the phone ring, it was Jill. David had to break the news to her, he was not pleased.

I will never forget this sacrament meeting. The thrill of watching Bryce pass the sacrament for the first time and the agony of knowing what both David had gone through plus what Jill was going through. It was more than bitter sweet.

Jill had agreed to give us the offer and check back in return for the key. It was upon my shoulders to retrieve and deliver. Church went agonizingly fast and so did my visiting teaching appointment. I prayed all the way over there for strength, courage, and compassion. I know that prayer was answered.

Jill would not speak to me and I could tell that not only was she an emotional wreck but that she had been crying most of the morning. I was sad, I really like Jill and had our meeting had been under different circumstances we would be good friends. Then walked in Candy, the sister who has taken it upon herself to right all the wrongs toward her sister, one of which was me.

Candy's countenance oozed with animosity towards me. How could I blame her? She said only this, "This last year has been the hardest time in Jill's life and you and your husband have made it so much worse." I told her I was sorry and that my life had not been easy either. Candy continued, "Jill will put the house on the market in the late spring and you had better not call her." I assured her I would not.

When I walked out the door, I wished them the best with all the sincerity in my heart and Candy slammed the door behind me. I calmly walked to my car feeling as worthless as a hardened criminal. On my way home I prayed. I was grateful that Heavenly Father had helped me get through it and that it was over. When I got home I went to my bedroom and cried.

It was all a blessing in disguise. We did not buy a home last summer which would have been a financial mistake. If mistake is the proper word, it does not sound like it to me.

I took me some time to get over that and I took a mental break from home shopping. There are still times when I can not emotionally look at homes which sounds as though I am mentally unstable. Maybe I am:).

I always say the only time it is fun to buy a home is when you do not need one. I suppose it might be fun if you had unlimited amount of money to spend and it were your second home but I am not sure. When I experience that I will decide then, ha ha.

My dilemma now is moving the kids again. Bryce is in 6th grade and he has attended 4 different schools. That will be 5 unless we are able to move close. Which I would like but the two homes I am most interested in now are in other towns. There is a home three houses away that not only would be the same school but ward also which is a miracle for Utah (our ward is 2 blocks by 4 blocks).

My other dilemma is how far will the market drop before it finally corrects itself. No one knows this answer I do realize this. It could take 3 years before that happens and we need to get settled before then but do we buy with the prices high and eat the amount our home value falls or wait out the storm?

I can not buy and I can not not buy. Through all of this I have tried tried tried not to murmur but be as Nephi. Not this is near as difficult as what Nephi had to endure. I have tried to have a good attitude and trust the Lord. I have my moments when I triumph better than others.

The trick is just being patient and trusting that we will know what the Lord has in store for us when the time comes. It has been a year and a half since we put our Boise/Meridian Idaho home on the market. I suppose with the eternal perspective a year and a half is no time at all but there are many moments that it feels more like eternity.

If nothing else I am learning and growing. Did we know how hard it would be to learn and grow when we signed up for this? I wonder how much I knew at that moment? I like to think I knew exactly what I was getting myself into. That it was nothing in comparison to the rewards, that thought gives me courage.

This is why we are still homeless. It is ugly and boring but now you know. That is if you had enough time and stamina to read all of this.